Case Number #0004
Date: 19th July, 2011
Investigating CSI - Agent Smiling Pug
Location - The home of two cats and a Pug in Burnaby
On the above listed date Agent SP was called out again, to the above address.
The 911 call went as follows...
- Operator: 911 Police, Fire or Ambulance
- Caller: Chicken bones on carpet! Upstairs hallway!
- Operator: Mam, slow down, I need to know who to send.
- Caller: Oh um yes.... I NEED AGENT SP! Hurry stain setting in!
- Operator: Does it look like the bones have been eaten?
- Caller: OMP who..... no just the meat picked away
- Operator: Ok that is good that no one has eaten the bones.
Agent SP arrived on the scene to be greeted by the gray cat of the residence, Kizzy. She
let in the agent and called for the others. Agent SP wasted no time.
The questioning got underway.
Agent: "Did anyone touch or walk near the crime?"
Mum: "No this time I remembered not to let anyone near it"
The Mum led the agent to the crime scene.
Crime Scene taped off and residents told to wait down in the kitchen
Photo A
The chicken bone.
Official name - "hot wing"
Photo B
Close up of "hot wing".
Agent SP confirmed that no bones had been eaten just the meat.
Agent SP noted the stain in carpet.
(Additional comment......... that will be one Bi@#! of a stain to remove)
Photo C
"hot wing" measurements documented
Agent SP noted the object is small and still some meat left on bone.
Photo D
"hot wing" - Exhibit 3
"stain" - Exhibit 2
After the photos Agent SP stood up and brushed fur from clothes (don"t these people vacuum!?) making mental note to
bring lint roller next time!
The evidence was bagged, tagged and sent to the lab for analysis.
Back down to the kitchen to further question the Mum.
Apparently the Dad made the said "hot wings" for supper the night before and left the remainders here on the stove.
Photo E
"hot wings" in dish on stove - Exhibit 4
Next, Agent SP dusted for prints
Back to questioning the residents.
Once again it was
MEOW, WOOF and MEOW
from the furry residents so the agent relied on the Mum for the questioning.
The wing was found by Mum as she got outta bed that morning.
Wings were from the meal last night.
Agent SP - Where was Winston throughout the night?
Mum - On the bed sleeping. I know cuz his snoring kept waking me throughout the night.
Agent SP - How about Tika's whereabouts?
Mum - On the bed with me.... actually sprawled across my face so I had trouble breathing.
Agent SP - Where was Kizzy on the night in question?
Mum - Well she was in the upstairs hallway, then I thought I heard her playing then it was super quiet. I figured she has crashed on the cat tree.
Agent SP then tried to get DNA samples of each resident.
NO ONE CO-OPERATED!
Mouths clamped shut!
(Noted here they all commented: something about reminding them of a vet visit dental check up)
With no time to get a warrent for DNA, the agent proceeded on with the investigation.
How did the "hot wing" get upstairs?
Photo F
Relation of "wings" to the ground
Documented for the file: Distance is about 2-3 feet
Now the Agent recalls from past investigations that only certain residents of the household possess the ability to jump this distance.
Noted in this report is
Case 0001 "the cutlet"
Photo G
Pictures from that report (0001) show that the pug is definitely
NOT capable of jumping 2-3 feet onto a counter.
(if the pug had eaten it..... all that would be left would be a stain and a huge vet bill)
All investigation halted when the lab called the
Agent on the Cell Phone with the "hot wing" test results
FELINE!!!!!Feline teeth marks
Feline Saliva
Feline paw prints
and
Feline Gray Fur
The Mum was informed of the findings. She was quoted as saying...
"oh my well I guess it makes sense. Winston can't possibly get up on that counter. Tika is fussy when it comes to food even if she did jump up. But my Kizzy luvs to eat and luvs chicken."
(the agent notes for the record.. it would have been so helpful to the case if the Mum had offered this tid bit of info about Kizzy "luving" chicken at the start of the case!!)
The Mum then produced this photo...
Photo H
Documented photo of Kizzy drinking water.
Agent SP noted that the Mum commented on how Kizzy was so thirsty that morning.
"she kept drinking water like her mouth was on fire"
Agent Smilingpug has concluded that Kizzy jumped up grabbed the "hot wing" dragged it upstairs and consummed some meat before realizing it was "spicy hot". She left it on the carpet and caused the stain.
Agent SP went to make the arrest but was informed by the Mum that all furry residents had disappeared!
and map in the sock mockey bed
(mum said pug's spy equipment bag was also missing)
Another poster will be distributed by Agent SP......
Agent SP wrapped up the case by telling the Mum to find herself a
good carpet cleaning company but.......
VACUUM FIRST LADY!
(once Kizzy is located, she will be under house arrest working her butt off for allowence monies to pay for carpet cleaning. You do the crime you PAY for the crime!)
